4 Ways to Handle Insensitive Managers

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Originally posted on The Life Currency

The beauty of most workplaces is that you get to work with people who represent all walks of life. The cultural makeup of your office can be a positive experience, but sometimes there might be a situation where diversity can result in an insensitive atmosphere.

 

Imagine walking into your weekly meeting with senior management and a comment is made in poor taste and poor timing. Then you look around and you realize you are the only one who felt the sting of the insensitive remark. Laughter rings through your ear as you wonder why no one else found the joke inappropriate. Situations like this can happen often in the workplace and you may be conflicted on whether to continue to be silent or to address the problem. Whom do you turn to when you feel uncomfortable at work? Do you speak up and let your manager know that they are wrong? Here are some tips for handling insensitive situations at work:
Steer Clear From Social Media
The first thing you shouldn’t do is immediately go to Twitter or Facebook to let off some steam. Especially, if your co-workers are your followers and if your profile is public. Don’t even blog about it. We know what happens when you mouth off about the boss, you get let go! Don’t let a public forum like social media get you fired. Instead, let out your frustrations by taking a quick break and go for a walk to clear your head or grab some comfort food to settle you down. You can text or call a friend to vocalize how you feel, or send an email to your mentor who’s not affiliated with the company to ask for advice on how to handle the situation.
Address the Issue With the Person at Fault
Sometimes you have to tackle the issue head-on, and that’s when you have to muster up the courage to address the person who is at fault. Try handling the problem yourself before going to HR to give that person a chance to apologize or recognize what went wrong. Be mindful not to attack him or her, but instead, find a way to create a teachable moment. Find a private area where you can address the issue and explain to the person at fault how the comments made you feel and why the situation can be uncomfortable. Give yourself 24 hours to digest what happened at work and then start crafting what you plan to say to the person. Make sure to keep it professional and authentic, but make your feelings real to them by finding ways to connect. For example, if the person is a man with a daughter, connect the situation in a way that he will think about his daughter.
Find a Senior Level Ally
At smaller companies the COO will be HR,too, and if that person made the insensitive remark than who can you talk to? In this case, it’s probably best to address the issue with the person at fault but with a little help from a senior level ally. Whenever you start a new job, one of your goals should be to create a relationship with someone in a senior level position to help champion your career trajectory. This person can be the key to your professional growth, but they can also be the person that you talk to when you feel uncomfortable at work. The level of authority they have can help you navigate your way to finding a solution to resolving the insensitivity that’s taking place at work. Take the conversation offline and have a face to face meeting with them to address your concerns. Tell them what happen and ask them to offer advice for handling the situation. They can be that voice for you when you aren’t allowed in certain rooms, so let them know what is going on.
Keep a Track of Continued Insensitivity
Whenever moments like this occur make sure to immediately record it in a private journal or document and save or print out inappropriate emails. Write down the details, so that you can have a record to back you up if things it sticky at work. If after you have addressed the issue with the person at fault and him or her continues to make insensitive comments, then it’s time to put in a complaint. Use your documented proof to help make your case to HR, and if HR is not a safe place then it’s time to find a new place of employment.

 

Most of the people you will encounter in your career lack empathy. They may have traveled the world and worked with an array of people, but there will still be something that separates them from truly understanding what it feels like to be in your shoes. Be mindful of that as you navigate through your career, because there will be times that you have to pick and choose your battles.

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